Oceanic by Isis, is one of the greatest albums of all time!!

 

Love!! Obsession!! Incest!! Suicide!!

All wrapped up into one grandiose majestic masterpiece of post-ambient-shoegaze-prog-metal.

What more could you ask for!?

The second full-length album by the now defunct Isis (R.I.P.), is probably one of the most creative and original metal albums of all time. Oceanic has been cited as the album to spawn the post-metal (or ambient-metal or metal-gaze or whatever you wanna call it) genre.

Even though the album is categorized in metal genre it is far from what you would typically think of as heavy metal music. There's no cheesy guitar solos or pulse pounding double bass rhythms. Oceanic is filled with slight electronic texture, ghostly female vocals, slow paced instrumentation, and sprinkled with occasional screams and big distortion.

The concept is based on a dude that is all bummed out and fed up with life, he meets a girl and becomes obsessed with her. But, he finds out that the girl has been hooking up with her own brother. This bum's the dude out even more (understandable) and he commits suicide by drowning himself in the ocean. Oh, the drama!! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oceanic_(Isis_album)

This album really is the coolest. If you don't own it already make this your next music purchase. But you can't just download it; you have to actually buy a physical copy of it. The artwork and the cerebral outline of the story listed inside the booklet are important to truly appreciating this business and you have to listen to it all the way through. It's art!! Serious!!

It's Stupendous!!

Tough Tittie
Pink Roid Rage
Self-Released
Street: 05.12
Tough Tittie = Spörk + Butthole Surfers + Mötorhead

Tough Tittie has the greatest band name of all time. How could there ever be a band name that could ever compare to the perfection of Tough Tittie? It transcends life. The only thing that can compare with their band name is their choice of album title. Damn. The album cover even comes with a new rendition of Earth Worm Jim in a suit. This is music that you can only listen to when you are drunk because I think these guys were drunk when they made it. It’s punk country thrash and it’s mind blowing it’s so good. Their compositions are well thought out and original. You can really tell how seriously these guys take their band and their music. Stand out track is “Best Place in the World to Kill a Girl.” Yikes!

The Poles

Twelve Winds

Double Plus Good

Street: 04.28

The Poles = Transfer + Tom Waits + Grails + QOTSA

The tones and timbres of The Poles’ debut full-length are the thing that jump out at you the most; every sound seems like it was meticulously molded to be rugged and dirty. It has an early post-hardcore vibe to it. These guys are the coolest-sounding band that has come out in the last year. They are all about developing atmosphere and mood. Imagine if the band Juno took beans, slammed booze constantly and smoked camel studs. If you are looking for a band to break up the monotony of everyday sounds, these dudes got it nailed down. It was definitely a wise move for bassist Matt Gentling to leave Band of Horses and hook up with The Poles. If this band ever comes into town, I am totally going to get drunk and go home with them and pray that they take advantage of me. I’m in love.

Eric Openshaw Band

This Stage

Self-Released

Street: 03.31

Eric Openshaw Band = Hootie and The Blowfish

I know who I want to marry now: Eric Openshaw! He is such a dreamboat, and his music is so creative and original—definitely God’s gift to music and the world. Ever since I received his album, I have longingly stared at the beautiful, seductive glamour shot of him posing next to the dryers at the laundromat. I tell you what, he can wash my drawers any day of the week—he is going to need to because every time I listen to his playfully romantic acoustic pop I get so excited that I can hardly keep from fainting with excitement. I just hope that I hook up with him before my mom hears his music and becomes hopelessly seduced too. Bogus!

Aeroplane Pageant
Even the Kids Don’t Believe Me
Self-released
Street: 06.23
Aeroplane Pageant = Broken Social Scene + Flaming Lips

I had some high expectations for this album. I had heard of Aeroplane Pageant around town and how pimp they were supposed to be. I have to say that I was mildly impressed. They are sweet and poppy-sounding with a tinge of noise mixed in. However, they are lacking some serious drive and direction. These guys need to hire a really good drummer to give the music some cajones! The atmosphere and experimentation is there, but it has no energy and just seems to meander on and on. Much love to Aeroplane Pageant, but I would suggest giving Zach Hill a call.

Gonzales
Checkmate
Chorus of One
Street: 06.16
Gonzales = Coyote Shivers + The Bacon Brothers

It is amazing to me that bands like this exist. It boggles my mind that four people will get together and pump out the most generic music possible and actually feel confident putting it out and having their name associated with it. Gonzales is a perfect example of this modern-day tragedy. This is the most generic, blues-tinged, bar-rock music of all time. Seriously, I want to meet the person that actually takes time out of their day to go purchase this album and listen to it. I just feel bad that bands like this are around because it takes attention away from creative, original bands that deserve it.

Joan of Arc
Flowers
Polyvinyl
Street: 06.16
Joan of Arc = Cap’n Jazz + Owl + American Football + Ghosts and Vodka + Everyoned + Make Believe + Friend/Enemy

Good ol’ Joan of Arc—so flashy, so experimental, all the pizzazz that you could ever want from a band. Tim Kinsella is so fresh and so clean. I really have tried to love this band several times and every time they pull me in and then Timmy starts throwing down his blunt semi-ironic lyrics and it totally turns me off. All I really want to do is spend one romantic evening getting all sultry to the sounds of Joan of Arc, but Tim’s stank lyrics keep ruining the moment. I think that he needs to mellow out on the poignancy.

Push-Pull
Between Noise and The Indians
Joyful Noise
Street: 06.09
Push-Pull = Jackson 5 + Melvins + My Balls

I gots mad respect for Push-Pull. Bands that try to bring it and make creative, challenging music are way too few and far between these days. You can tell these guys actually care about bringing something new to the world of music. These sweet pieces of action are the perfect combination of the Pixies and Primus, with Isaac Brock rocking the mic on vocals. It’s good stuff and if you listen to these dudes and don’t like it, you are lame and need to pull your head out and get down to the gratuitous rhythms of the pulse-pounding, funk/punk rock of Push-Pull. You know their name and you know how they be living, big up to Push-Pull for the jams. You guys have definitely gained a new fan.

JC wrote CD Reviews to!!

Telepathe

Dance Mother
I Am Sound
Street: 03.31
Telepathe = DJ Krush + The Chemical Brothers + Tegan & Sara

Telepathe are totally the hippest thing out right now. If you were to categorize one band as the cat’s pajamas, this would be the band. Anybody who is anybody listens to this band and knows how freaking cool they are. Serious. The album is produced by TV On The Radio’s Dave Sitek and features Kyp Malone - oh so cool! This music is actually good beyond all the hype and business that everybody has been preaching about this band. They use super experimental beats and random chorus structures to make original and trance-type pop songs. It’s like Kruder & Dorfmeister but a lot sweeter. If you are looking for some tunes to mix up the daily hoo-haw, then grab this album and try not to hate on them for being associated with the overrated TVotR.

Volbeat
Guitar Gangsters & Cadillac Blood
Mascot
Street: 03.03
Volbeat = Danzig + Lame of God + Social Distortion

Imagine the most metal Cadillac of all time. Like a Cadillac that has zebra-seat covers and black leather trim with tassels and what not. Then imagine what Mike Ness and Glen Danzig’s male offspring would look like if he were in his late 30s or early 40s and he was driving around in the metal Cadillac listening to Five Finger Death Punch while pulling a poo-poo metal face and pumping his fist really hard. That is exactly what this album sounds like. It is enough to make you want to watch Rock Star with Mark Wahlberg and put lit matches to you nipple rings. Good times.

Big Gun Baby
Self-titled
Self-released
Street: 03.24
Big Gun Baby = The Poster Children + Republica

This five-song EP contains three original tracks and two remixes. Big Gun Baby is run by two members - Jaycee, who is in charge of the sexy singing over the drum track beats and Greame, who provides the power chord guitar. The three songs definitely have a late-nineties dance rock vibe to them. It reminds me of back in the day when I would longingly look at my Garbage poster, the one where Shirley Manson is crawling on Hollywood Boulevard. I used to look at that poster as a young junior high child and have some very impure thoughts. I miss that poster. I need to get that out of my parents’ basement. Back to Big Gun Baby, the original tracks are standard techno rock, but the remixes at the end of the album are awesome. You guys should remix all your songs and stick with the club sound.

Shark That Got Her
Bravo
Self-Released
Street: 03.17
Shark That Got Her = Between The Buried and Me + Mouth of The Architect + Blinded Black

I want to start off with stating that Shark That Got Her has the coolest band name in the whole state of Utah. I have always been a sucker for band names with shark in them, i.e. Sharks Keep Moving and Bear vs. Shark. Getting back on subject, STGH sound nothing like the two previous bands mentioned. Their sound is more of a standard metalcore screamo sound, which is too bad because they do have some really original sounds and interludes in between the standard stuff. Like the first track "Ursa Oley" and the beginning of the fourth track "Soot In The Skin" and the majority of the fifth track, "Brazilian Braille." This band has awesome artwork, killer lyrics and a sweet band name - I just wish they would get the music up to par with their image. If they developed a more individual, creative sound and got rid of all the screaming, I would love them forever and come to all of their shows.

Shark Speed
Sea Sick Music
Self-Released
Street: 03.10
Shark Speed = Look Mexico + Ra Ra Riot + Minus The Bear

Oh boy!! Another band with shark in the name. I am starting to think that the whole shark thing in the band name might be getting a bit over used. One thing that is comforting: this band is really good. Their sound is basically Franz Ferdinand mixed with The Appleseed Cast, who they opened up for at Kilby Court back on Feb. 20. These guys are dope-fresh. The best part of the band is the light, intricate, Jake Snyder-type guitar work and mellowed-out tempo that the band brings with the majority of the album. You gotta love the random horn parts that pop in and out of the tunes as well. There’s nothing like some trumpet action to get you out in the crowd hopping around. That son of a bitchin’ trumpet will get you every time. Just curious, do you guys have JS portraits hidden under your bed?

Eighteen Wheels Burning
Tweak’d Out Strung Up & Redefined
Meteorcity
Street: 02.24
Eighteen Wheels Burning = ZZ Top + Dirty Sweet + Mudhoney

Eighteen Wheels Burning are so close to being a bodacious band, with a sound that’s thick and dirty, similar to post-grunge stoner bands like Craw. But they have one major flaw. When they get the dirt flowing and it starts to sound all dark and fuzzed out, they break out the bogus 80s guitar solo. I hate guitar solos; they are probably the most cheese-dick thing ever invented in rock music. There are so many things you can do differently in a song than let the guitarist get their wank on. That’s the problem with Eighteen Wheels Burning; they are too busy playing with themselves than getting down into the crunchy goodness of what post-grunge music is all about. Word to the wise, Adam Valk: If you keep wanking on that guitar, you’re gonna go blind.

SOS
Adult Situations
Independent
Street: 02.17
SOS = Jesus Lizard + The Melvins + Urge Overkill

SOS has been around since 1995 and it shows, in a good way. These guys make some tough, hard-hitting music. It’s like an old-school muscle car that’s being ghost-driven into a brick wall. While the vocals sometime sound like James Hetfield from Metallica, it’s easy to tolerate because the songs are so hardcore. You have to respect bands that are bit older because they put attention to details that are vastly overlooked with most bands of today. The main thing about these guys is you can tell that they concentrated on the tones and EQs of the instruments. This is something that most poser-ass douche bands of today rarely concentrate on. Keep it up, SOS, I would answer your distress call any goddamn day of the week.

Vicious Starfish
Remember To Forget
Independent
Street: 02.10
Vicious Starfish = Eels + Superdrag

Vicious Starfish are a peculiar band. Their tracks vary from campy light hearted upbeat stuff to somber, piano-driven songs to electronic pop songs. It’s hard to pin them down. While I like the variety, it seems like the band is a bit scattered. I feel like if they would concentrate on one genre and perfect it, they would really benefit. But the 12 songs here are all pretty good for being so varied. I would have to say that track four, "Black Satin Gloves", is my favorite on the album. I secretly wish that Austin Merkley, Justin Carrell and Nathan Merkley would all put on satin gloves and violate my personal space because I hear that the more vicious the starfish, the greater they are in the sack. These dudes are Utah’s version of Queen and you can’t hate on that. Pick up this album if you’re down to hear a band that knows how to mix it up.

X96 Live & Local
Voulume 5
Independent
Street: 02.03
X96 = A compilation of a bunch of local bands

The fifth installment of X96’s live local features 18 tracks forms Utah’s finest bands. The bands featured are the ones that you would expect to be on here - Tolchok Trio, Starmy, Purr Bats and many other scenester bands that all of SLC seems to be obsessed with. All the tracks are standard dancey rock business. But, there are a few stand out tracks from some bad ass bands on here. Spork’s "Midnight Bomber" is definitely the coolest track on the compilation with some other solid cuts by Ex Machina and Andale!. Another highlight of the compilation was the quirky electro number "Decoder" by Cavedoll. I’m just glad that I wasn’t subjected to a Royal Bliss track. Thank you Jesus! Thank you Lord!

Bogus

Riots of Eighty

The Ivory Road

Independent

Street: 04.07

Riots of Eighty = Underoath + The Used + Blinded Black

Christian Hardcore is probably the lamest genre of music that has ever been invented. I mean come on, screaming about faith and god and being all angry about it? Seriously? Well now we have a new sub genre of Christian hardcore: Mormon hardcore. Riots of Eighty are the most hardcore Mormons of all time and that is saying a lot. Now I will give Riots of Eighty some credit: their chops are tight and their song structures are solid. But there is absolutely not one original thing going on here. It’s the same thing every song: scream, double bass, heavy thrash, whiney formula that goes along with the majority of all screamo / Christian hardcore bands. It’s too bad these kids have serious skill but they’re sheep.

Ummm.... reviews??

I slacked this month...

Fall From Grace

Sifting Through The Wreckage
Bunk Rokk
Street: 12.16

Fall From Grace = AFI + Poison + Offspring

Fall From Grace are the biggest posers of all time. I hate when bands dress up in all black and try to look all tough and depressed. These guys probably were the biggest doofuses when they were younger. Then one day they all got together and they figured people would think they were cool if they started a bogus pop-punk metal band. The thing that is probably most disturbing about this album is that Terry Date (Deftones, Pantera, White Zombie, Dredg) produced it. He must be doing a favor for somebody because this band is horrible and Date usually picks really good bands to be involved with. It's sad to see one of the best producers tarnish his reputation and have his name associated with these dorks. Bad form, Terry.

Fiasco

Native Canadians
Impose

Street: 12.09

Fiasco = Pixies + Nirvana + At The Drive-In

This album sounds like it was recorded in a tin can. But it's the noisiest, most hardcore tin can of all time. The first track, "Steve Herman," comes charging out like it's trying to scramble your brains with the flashiest and most chaotic instrumentation of all time. The highlight of this post-punk mess is most definitely the drums. Julian Bennett Holmes must have a really unhealthy obsession with Zack Hill. He probably stands outside Zack's window and imagines what it would be like to cuddle with him at night. These dudes are really good all around. I wish they would leave their home town of Brooklyn and come play a show here in SLC.

WTF?! More Music Reviews... Shit!!

East of the Wall
Farmer's Almanac
Forgotten Empire
Street: 11.18
East of the Wall = Circa Survive + Black Sabbath + Laundry - vocals

East of the Wall is honestly some of the best instrumental music I have heard. It's about as intelligent and heavy as you can get. At no point on this 8-song CD does the power trio fall into the tempting abyss of fiddling with their instruments for musical vindication. The band consists of Brett Bamberger (Postman Syndrome) on bass, Mike Somers (Postman Syndrome) on drums and Jeff Speidell (Delft) on guitar. Every song makes me feel like I am losing my virginity to the old hairy gods of instrumental prog metal; it makes me cry, yet I feel so sophisticated. If a less annoying Dysrhythmia and a more talented Russian Circles conceived a three-headed dog beast, it would be named East of the Wall.

Godhead

At The Edge of the World

Driven Music

Street: 11.25

Godhead = Static –X + King's X

Godhead brings just the right amount of creepiness and soulful balladry to the musical table. It's an emotional rollercoaster with these guys. It's like dating all the members of Stabbing Westward, but they are all bipolar. One minute they're sulking in the corner about how you never loved them and the next minute they are standing on the front of the Titanic all inspirational-like, declaring how amazing your love is. It's draining. This band would be much better off if they would embrace the creepiness and experiment within the context of their sound, instead of reverting to big, wide Scott Stapp-type choruses. The grandiose choruses in every song weaken the band's sound; they're cheap and contrived. Godhead is just not worth all the drama.

Science Faxtion
Living On Another Frequency

Mascot

Street: 11.11

Science Faxtion = DJ QBert + Primus + Parliament Funkadelic + Nine Inch Nails

The first and possibly the only album released by the super collaboration group known as Science Faxtion has so many guest stars it's like looking up at the universe. The album features the talents of Bootsy Collins, Buckethead, Brain Mantua, Greg Hampton, Bernie Worrell, and Chuck D. Apparently, all these fancy-pants dudes have invented a new genre of music known as space-age metalloid funk This genre of music is bound to be hugely popular; who can resist funkified industrialized turntablism? Soon every man, woman and child will be listening to space-age metalloid funk. So you better get on the A-Train and get on down to Science Faxtion. I'll be riding in the caboose.

Wunderbuggs

Written In Flesh

Independt
Street: 11.11

Wunderbugg = a happy Richard D. James + Chemical Brothers + Orbital

This is really amazing, creative electronic music combined with a horrible band name. If you took ecstasy every time it rained, hung out in your basement all day tinkering with drum machines and samplers and began to compile a list of the doofiest possible names for your techno band, then when the sun finally came out and you emerged from your electronic euphoric trance and decided to share your music with the rest of the world, and everybody would love your fresh and creative new take on electronica until you told them the name of your band and they all laughed at you and made you cry, then you understand firsthand what the members of Wunderbugg's lives are like.

Ex Machina
Self Titled
Self-Released

Street: 10.28

Ex Machina = Muse + Radiohead + Taking Back Sunday + Pixies

I honestly have to say that Ex Machina is probably one of the best local bands. They may be slightly inconsistent, but who isn't. The first song on the album, "Syphoned" is by far the best track, but also seems to be sort of the bastard child. "Syphoned" comes out blaring and with serious intensity. The first half of the song reminds me something Far would have written back in the day. Then the sequencing does some prog action with 30 seconds of silence separating the beginning of the song from the second half of the song. It's very original. The rest of the album is a little bit mellow, but the vocals are solid and the compositions creative. Big up, Ex Machina. Maybe these guys will play at my birthday party?